Five and a Half Ways to Lose Followers and Irritate Your Tweeps (Contains Naughty Language)

My good friend Jim over at Business Growth Power Pack had the idea to write a follow up to my article about 11 ways to piss off bloggers with an article on 11 ways to piss off Tweeters. I agreed to write it with him, splitting 11 things into 5 and a half each.

This was like ten days ago. I’m late because my priorities are very strict, and the first one was to make the Favrd Leaderboard. Having accomplished this goal of a lifetime, it’s now time to do the actual important things, because my ego has now has its stroke.

My Five and Half Things that You Too Can Do to Piss Off Tweeters

1. @ Someone. Then never @ them back when they respond. (Unless Twitter is broken, then you’re excused.)
2. Never make any conversation. Because we’re all there just to share links and get traffic right? Relationship/Shrelationship. What are you, a hippie?
3. Think that YOUR use of Twitter is the holy grail, and is the only way that anyone else should ever use it. Because after all, you’re God Almighty. Which makes me wonder why you need to use Twitter to communicate. But okay.
4. Constantly talk about how all the other services are better. Logged into Twitter. On the Twitter site. Why are you here again? G’way.
5. Take everything SUPER seriously. What is this thing you call fun? Puny human. Hulk Smash!

What’s the and a half?

Start a meme and then don’t allow it to die. The epic fail whale tale? IS an epic fail. Please go about your vocabulary.

Have you got any? If not, you’re not following me on Twitter. I break every rule there is, create new ones and break those too. Because I’m Twitter Gangsta.

Check out Jim’s half of this article, Five and A Half Ways to Piss off Twitters – or is it Tweeters? – he’s already written some good ones about Twitter spammers and such.