Are you there Google? It’s me, Tinu.
Sit down.
No. Over there. We need to have a serious talk, and I don’t want you wooing me with your fabulousness. This is serious.
It’s about the Gmail invites.
I know, I said I wanted them. Not so much to give out as to torture my friends with, and make them pay me back money they owe me, or extort generous favors from colleagues who don’t have it. I hate that everyone is going to have the chance to enjoy my bliss one day.
It’s not fair! There! I said it! You happy?
So no, I don’t want to give my Gmail invites away. But then you moved the notification to the top of the page with that can’t miss white lettering on blue background…. almost as if to say.
“oh. Maybe you didn’t hear me. I SAID you have GMAIL INVITES. Give them out Right Now!!!”
And I got the hint. Oh yes. I was feelin’ you. Giving is good.
But dude. You’re starting to freak me out. I gave away four, and you replenished my supply. Is this a trick? Because the whole reason I hoard my invites in the first place is because you make it seem like I’ll never have invites again.
Is this because of the feedback I gave you? I really wasn’t expecting anything but–
Wait.
Wait a minute.
Are you coming out of Beta?
You wouldn’t.
You Couldn’t.
Haven’t I been good to you? Why must I share you with the world? I know about all the late night partying with other geeks around the world in the beginning. *insert dramatic sob* But then you started cahorting with other people… good people… REAL people…
How am I supposed to compete with that?
Oh blah, blah, blah – “we didn’t come out of Beta last time we moved the notification”. Whatever. *looks down at hands in defeat* I’m just going to ask you for one small favor….
*crosses to Google, sits*
Keep something special just between you, and me, your faithful Beta user and suggester of features. Some nice little wink or nod that all the other kids on the playground won’t ever see, that they can’t have unless they pay for….
Something… sacred….?
To make me feel… Special… again?
I have to go now. I just can’t take the fact that you see other people… *lip quivers* I don’t even want to LOOK at you…. right now…. *a tear falls*
*exits stage right*
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