Gratitude and a Look at the Hard Knocks Myself and Some of My Peers Face in Technology

This is going to be way different from any other blog post I’ve written here. You all know that sometimes I get personal, or raise issues that concern me – that’s not news.

But today, I was getting organized to add some content to Traffic Reality and came across a post by Geoff Livingston (author of Now is Gone and kind of a big deal in the social media and PR world. I interviewed him about his company being acquired right before the last time I got sick and I’m definitely uploading that this week.)

His thoughts completely derailed any attempts I was going to make to get my work done in a timely fashion. Instead, I’m going to take a moment to speak out on women, people of color & those with physical challenges being snubbed, dissed, overlooked or ignored in social media specifically and technology in general.

If that isn’t your cup of tea, it’s probably a good idea to stop reading here. But if you’ve got any feelings on those issues, consider this my attempt at continuing the dialogue Geoff started.

In this post, he talked about how women have been snubbed in social media as thought leaders.

Initially I kind of wryly thought to myself “This is News?”

I take it for granted that whatever road my peers have taken is going to be harder for me, and don’t really think about it or lament. No time. Besides, everyone has their problems, and I never want someone to infer that I don’t think other people work hard.

I have seen some hard working folks in this business, some people who you and I would say have “made it” but still work ten to fourteen hours a day.

But I’ll come back to that issue of working hard(er) later. First, a look at Geoff’s article Women Snubbed in Top Ten Speakers List, Industry in General.

The article expresses Geoff’s outrage that on a top ten list of speakers in Social Media, not only were most of the speakers on the list unknowns or mediocre in comparison to their female peers, the list was lacking in both transparency and revealing of a gender bias among some conference organizers.

Three years ago, such a post would have been blogged about endlessly. Now, we seem to simply accept this kind of bastardization of social media. Thus, corporate marketing has beaten us into submission as the social media sphere simply moves on and finds more interesting content rather than voicing distrust. Even worse, some of our brightest minds are represented in this particular piece of “social” BS.

Now, normally, I’m not upset at the many, many, many, many top ten, twenty, one hundred or one thousand lists that I’m not featured.on.

This is mostly because my last big exposure to a wide audience of millions on people online taught me a hard won lesson in controlled growth. Using the methods I teach on Expertise Marketing on myself, ironically worked too well, and I became more “famous” than I could handle as a one-woman-shop at the time.

In other words, media exposure almost exploded my company out of existence.

And this has taught me not to be bitter about not being widely known. As long as the checks keep coming and the people who really count know who I am, what’s the big deal? Aside from hurt pride, there truly isn’t one.

Or so I thought.

After reading Geoff’s words, I had a bit of a breakthrough. Instead of editing myself down, I’m just going to cut and paste the comment I had planned on leaving for him.

I find it impressive but not surprising that you’re talking about this issue, the same way I found it impressive but not surprising that ShoeMoney talked about the lack of blacks promoted in technology in general.

To me, there doesn’t seem to be a new way to solve this (tragically) old problem.

And that way is to spread the truth about why this is a big deal virally – the people who are being excluded have perspectives and experiences that those who are being included don’t glean from their experiences, because the way they navigate and think about the world is different. Not better or worse, but different.

These differing perspectives are immensely valuable and help us use technology in better, more efficient ways. Young or old, regardless of color or gender, I want to learn from the people who are the most innovative – whether that’s because they had to be more creative just to make it, or not shouldn’t matter.

We ALL miss out by having certain populations excluded – that has to be the focus of the discussion, in my eyes, for everyone to want to move from frustration and discussion to action. Just as corporations begin to see value in social media when it impacts their profits, so will we see value in the differing voices when resolving the current lack of divergent voices when it’s seen from a perspective of blocking prosperity.

That we don’t by default is a particular shame in a medium that should be a greatly democratizing medium.

When I think about the issues I face and witness, I see so many people being excluded from a world of technology that is supposed to, by design, be more inclusive. It’s shocking when I think about it in that context – from phony social media experts who charge twice what is necessary for none of the results, to the fact that there are few, if any, provisions for people who are partially or fully disabled (which is why I rarely speak even locally).

And because of this we’re drowning ourselves in our own ignorance if this issue is not brought to the forefront and resolved.

It’s not simply an issue of women being more assertive or vocal either.

What people don’t seem to see is that this is happening to groups who are ALREADY more assertive and vocal – it’s just that our voices and aggressiveness doesn’t get us as far as our counterparts. None of my male peers – including the wonderful ones who graciously pushed me forward – had to work 19 hours for 3 years just to get on the radar. Most of their 19 hour work days led to successful start-ups and millions of dollars in venture capital.

To be clear, this is not to say I work harder than them, which is what most people will infer from that, but that the amount of hard work they do takes them farther than it takes people like me. It’s easy for people to say “well, just work even harder.” When, and at what price?

I willingly and knowingly sacrificed my health, the vitality of my youth and my social life, to get where I am. And it wasn’t worth it. And there isn’t time in my schedule or strength left in me to fight for the cause of increasing MY visibility in social media, let alone women in general. I’m lucky to be doing as well as I am.

That may sound like a cop out to people who don’t know what I’ve been through just to get here, but regardless, being more assertive and vocal isn’t the answer to the problem when the volume or aggression of our message isn’t the issue to begin with.

Reading this makes me even more grateful to the men and women who recognized my voice and did their best to help me be heard.

I just want to list those people here, in gratitude. Because I’m really lucky – there’s someone out there twice as talented as I am, getting doors shut in their face because they didn’t have a strange name that kept people from knowing if they were a man or a woman. Or who just never came across people as helpful as I did, who were willing to share their thoughts about them with their audiences, companies or other people.

Because of that, I’m always going to owe a huge debt to the following people.

Publishers and Editors like Mel Strocen of Site Pro News, Loren Baker of Search Engine Journal, Robert Clough and Jennifer Laycock of Search Engine Guide, Wendy Boswell of About.com’s Websearch section and Chris Crum of Web Pro news, who continue to publish my work in their pivotal publications, which exposes me to ever widening audiences.

Marketers like Shawn Casey, Jinger Jarrett, Dr. Mani, and Marlon Sanders, who recommended my products to their audiences at critical points in my career.

Visionaries like Mark Joyner who is constantly encouraging me and believing in my abilities, even when I don’t.

Speaking of brilliance, Antonio Thornton and the endless inspiration he’s given me for new projects to start.

Rodney Rumford, who changed my life by constantly attempting to include me in worlds I didn’t even know about, and introducing me to a lot of the right people, like…

Andy Seidl and Bill French of MyST Technology, who honored me by their genuine interest in and action on my feedback.

David Bullock, a friend, mentor, peer and colleague in one brilliant package, who constantly gets me to see things I should be moving away from by focusing me on what I should be moving towards

Sally Falkow and the team at Expansion Plus who worked with me on countless projects, enabling me to focus on the part of business I do best, while they did the part I consider the heavier lifting.

Bloggers, social media, marketing and blog professionals like Wayne Hurlbert, Marc David, Nancy Redford, Ann Handley, Paul Chaney, and Drew McLellan. All these people spread my voice to one more person, often without even my solicitation.

Geoff Livingston who owned a company that is now of CRT/Tanaka, and Roy Dunbar of Network Solutions. It’s a privilege to serve on Network Solution’s Social Web Advisory Board, and both of you made it possible.

I know there’s people I’m forgetting but I’m going to turn this into a page at one of my other sites. For now, I just want you to be aware of these people so that if you come across them, and wonder if you should work with them, one level or another, I can vouch for all of these folks – not just out of gratitude for how they have helped me.

But because I’ve witnessed them quietly helping other people, all the time, as if that’s just what people did. Would that it were.

Please, tell me your stories, and who inspired and helped you along the way. Or just take a moment to thank them via Twitter if you’re too choked up right now.