There was a really important post at DoshDosh today called “An Essential Marketing Principle: Give Before You Try to Get“. It went over a very basic marketing principle that has somehow gotten turned into a gimmick – the idea that in order to get someone, anyone, to do something for you, that you must first do something for them. 

It struck me, reading that article that everyone knows you’re supposed to do that. 

Everyone thinks they understand why to do that. 

And yet few people know HOW to do it. Or everyone would, and everyone would buy everything and all our problems getting the word out and  would be solved. 

I wonder why that is. Thinking back to when I was a newbie, thinking about how current newbies to traffic generation behave when they meet me, I think this quote from the article best alludes to the mystery:

You’re not selling to robots or animals. You’re selling to people whocare about the seller. Get what you want by first giving unconditionally. Manage what people think or feel about you and you’ll get what want easily.

When I was a newbie, I didn’t get that. I got into business to be able to help people and have some extra spare change – I was looking for a part time supplemental income.

One day put out some valuable information for free, and for a while got a lot of great attention for it. Then when flipping through Clickbank, I noticed that someone had turned my idea into a product. Out of curiosity I bought it, thinking they had the same idea I had at the same time – maybe we could work together and make something bigger.

And I saw that, word for word, some of the content in the product was stuff I was giving away free on my blog.

At the time I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

Sue? I didn’t have a lawyer and couldn’t afford one.

Contact the person and bluff that I was going to sue? I couldn’t make good on the threat, and besides, it was a lie. And people knew that person well – they were just getting to know me in the marketplace.

Ultimately I figured out that due to the ranking of the product, they couldn’t have been making a lot of sales. So I made a better product, and put it on the market. Six months later the market for that particular item was flooded with competition, and I was still on top.

I always believed it was because I provided better value, and people knew it. I gave away most of the information others make you pay for, and then heaped a lot of actionable content to pay for on top of that. Eventually my tactic paid off.

Because I wanted to build a business. The other guy just wanted to make a quick buck.

And that’s the difference between some of the new blood in any business and the veterans, between some of those living the “guru” lifestyle and the true experts.

One wants to build a business, the other is hoping to run away with some of your cash. One has to shoot straight with you or they risk losing your future business. The other doesn’t care because they just want to get you to buy this one thing and then run away.

If you want to earn trust with your audience, before everything you do, think, “will this build me a long-term relationship with subscribers, customers and clients?”

Ask yourself why they would come back for more.

Ask yourself why YOU would come back for more.

This month in Traffic Reality we’re going to be talking about how to use social media properties to build your business. I’m not going to just talk about Twitter, or Facebook or StumbleUpon or forum marketing.

I’m going to talk about all of them as a whole, from the technical points of how to use them, to the tips and tricks on each separate site in my Web 2.0 strategy and how I use them together to generate traffic, leads and sales.

I’ll be focusing on Actionable Steps, and how to reduce your daily social media workload to half an hour a day. We’ll discuss the intimate nature of how and why some things get popular in social media and other items fail miserably.

We’ll be looking into why these occurrences have nothing to do with quality of the resource, and everything to do with leverage. Actually we’ll be talking about that fact that I feel leverage is so important that, years ago, I named my company Leveraged Promotion.

This topic is so important that I’m going to start giving away bonsues in Traffic Reality at the beginning of the month of lessons instead of the end, so I can get them all in.

In the next post in this series, I’ll give you a few take away points for right now, as well as an announcement of our last content winner.

I JUST turned the page back on for more Traffic Reality memberships, with immediate access to the site and the last two newsletters. And some people must have those notifiers turned on that tell them when a page has changed, because the first 12 are already gone! I was preparing to announce it in the newsletter in a few hours, but okay – go get ‘em if you want ‘em!

(And if, by chance you really don’t know what I’m babbling about, you can click the link. )

… You have a realistic goal.

Which is why it really irks me when I see a traffic program/software package/course that promises you thousands of visitors when it’s done. What if I already have thousands of visitors? How many thousands are we talking about anyway?

Whenever these things come out, I know that within a week to a month, someone is going to write me saying “I used x product and I’m failing. Can you help me?” And there are potential clients I turn away because they want to get 10,000 visitors a day like this program promised them, when they aren’t going to get much more than 2000 a day with their site the way it is.

This isn’t to say that some high-yield traffic programs don’t work if used properly. And to be sure, sometimes failure is about the fact that the person failed, not the program.

Some work (and I’ll make a post about evaluating these programs another time), but in my opinion, most of them

1. Make the whole idea of increasing traffic organically too hard
2. Behave as if raising traffic, as opposed to profit, is the one and only point
3. Don’t tell you that the quality of traffic you’ll get might not be what you want
4. Lead you to believe you’ll never have to spend a penny to increase your traffic.That’s BS. Sooner or later, someone has to advertise, or make an improvement to your site, products, services, sales pages, etc that is going to cost you money.There WILL be a traffic-related expense. The trick is to minimize it, or shift the cost elsewhere. And faced with a consistenly converting product, your affiliates will probably be happy to foot the cost of advertising, but you will still have to improve your web design, or hire a copywriter, something.Even if it’s the phone call to an expert to JV with you, at some point you will spend money. You can bootstap your way a surprisingly significant part of the way without funds.

I do believe that a million visitors or a million page views even, is a realistic goal for traffic.

However, for someone who is starting at zero, or getting one hundred unique visitors a day and actually converting some of those people into sales, on your way to a million, you have to start somewhere. What do you think is a realistic, starting-out goal?