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Some people “get” social media right away, but can’t really articulate why. Other people will never get it no matter how clearly it’s spelled out to them. In discovering why this is, I realized an important point.

The secret to benefiting from social media is so very simple. Social media is about relationships.

Not necessarily friendships. Not always community. Relationships. From how the content relates to the person reading it, to how the information gets spread from person to person, why people vote for some stories and not others. Relationships to people, relationships between you and the content you read. Not just the fact that those relationships build community but how.

Every problem with social media has a solution that is based in fixing or forming a relationship.

Take a site like Digg. Why are some people hostile to one submission, but thrilled by another, on the same topic, sometimes even about the same issue? You’ll probably find the answer in

• Whether or not the submitter has found a niche community within the site and is respected/liked within it
• The connection or lack of, that the story has to the group that’s reading it
• The relationship of the submitter to the site (sometimes it’s considered okay to submit your own stories, sometimes not)
• The relationship of that site to the story or the Digg community at large

You could go on forever, but if you go deep enough, you’ll find a relationship that needs to be fixed, formed or forgotten.

That’s not to say that if you don’t build a relationship, you won’t get in. On the contrary, your first submission to Digg may go right to the front page and stay there for all I know. But your story will have to be relatable.

I like to think of social media web sites as a club where I’m not on the VIP list. Depending on that club, I might have to stand on a line and wait to see if I’ll have the privilege of joining, or if I seem cool enough, I might be let in.

It’s partially on that basis that I chose the clubs I go to… when I dress the part of a jazz vocalist, no matter how much I like metal, I won’t seem like I will relate to the crowd inside.

Yeah, it’s about relationships. Not just friendships - your friends may not be enough to keep you on the front page of Digg. If you can understand how relationships work, between people, between people and what they do, and why they relate to some stories and not others, you’re probably going to do well.

Kind of like in business.

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