Traffic Method # 225 : How to Get Better Traffic by Using Commenting to Form Relationships

Why don’t I consider leaving comments a traffic method?

Because commenting isn’t meant to generate traffic, it’s more of a by-product.

And yes, there are some things we can use to generate traffic, even though that isn’t their purpose, but only when it’s ethical.

Leaving comments for traffic alone isn’t ethical.

You’re trying to take something from a community that worked hard to get it, instead of getting credit for sharing something with a community that you belong to, and reciprocating when it’s given to you – these are two different things.

I wish there was a plug-in that let me keep people from leaving links until after a certain number of comments, and to turn their links off if they stopped participating.

Andy told me on his ultimate dofollow list about Lucia’s plug-in, which paid commenting may force me to turn to this evening.

Think about how you’d feel if someone did that to your blog, everytime you want to evaluate a traffic method related to blogging. If you wouldn’t mind and allow it at your blog, then knock yourself out, because whatever you are doing to others is about to happen to you.

Commenting to get traffic is also inefficient.

Why?

Let’s say you leave one comment.

That comment will probably only bring you traffic as long as that post is new. When it fades into the archives, you won’t get much traffic from it.

Let’s say it’s a DoFollow comment, and you’re getting link juice.

Sure, your link will get followed by the search engines, and counted among the number of links to your site, which may give you a little boost.

But wouldn’t it be better not to have to share that link juice with the other commenters?

Wouldn’t it better to have a whole post dedicated to your site?

Wouldn’t it be great to get a Permanent link to your site from their Blogroll, on a page that has more weight than a single post?

Wouldnt it be cool if someone discovered you by your link and then shared your link with other people?

So how do you get that kind of action?

Let’s look at it logically.

Good Bloggers tend to make posts about:

• Quality tools, content, services, & products that will serve their community.
• People who are doing innovative, interesting, creative things that will interest their community.
• Quality tools, content, services, & products that will serve their community and make them money.
• News of interest to their community that will either save them from doing a full blog post or help them to do a full blog post.

.. just to name a few.

It follows, then, that if you want a blogger to blog about your site, to share your site with others, or to add you to their link roll, you should :

1. Make comments that will both help and intruigue the blogger and his/her community, which make a good introduction to you.
2. Form a relationship with that blogger on the basis of what you have in common that could serve their community.
3. Form a relationship with other commenters in that community.

In other words, comment to give, not to get. If you get the same amount of love back from comments you make, then great. If you don’t, that’s fine too, at least you got a link, and if you stick to it, you’ll get that love elsewhere.

As far as how to apply this to your comment routine, that will depend a lot on your own preferences.

This is what I normally do.

My Seven Step Method of Commenting to Form Relationships

If I comment on your blog, it’s for the sole purpose of getting a link.

I can buy links, earn them, submit for them, write articles, win awards, be written about, publish a press release, create a podcast…. so what the heck do I need you to link to me for?

It would be nice but…

A link is a consolation prize, not an end in itself.

If I comment on your blog, it’s my way of saying hi, a precursor to a relationship. If we were to use the metaphor of dating, the first comment is the stage where I decide if you’re worth asking out.

Step One – Stalking.

I read a blog for at least a week, looking for common ground, and seeing if the blogger writes in a style that leaves a place for replies other than “good job”.

The content has to speak to me, so that I want to say, “fantastic job”, “thank you”, or “and you know what else”, or “I respect you but you’re SO WRONG about this.”

You can’t expect people to write their most compelling work every day, but if I don’t see at least one memorable shot after a week or so of hanging around and reading archive posts, I’m off.

Because if I’m not electrified, and I’m looking to market to people like me, well, they’re not going to be electrified either.

Sometimes I ignore this rule if their audience loves them for some reason I don’t understand, mostly because some of my readers have the same mercy on me.

Step Two – Introductions.

I comment once, leaving my full name, and making a concerted effort to truly contribute to the conversation. (I make an effort every time, but this first time, I want to be noticed, maybe even impressive.)

Usually the first comment is without leaving my link unless the browser fills it out for me.

If comments are moderated, I may come back if it’s really important to me and I remember. (If your template allows it, enable a subscribe to comments plug-in. Ours doesn’t, one reason I want to change it.)

If not, it’s a quick way to lose my attention, which is why I try to only moderate comments when we’re all on vacation, or if key members are out sick.

Step Three – Flirting.

I comment twice. This time I’m looking for a response from the publisher within a few days.

If the person who writes the posts isn’t responding to me, but is to other people in that thread, I think that’s BS.

Every contributor is important. I don’t want a relationship with a sometimesy person, which also means I’ll probably never, ever buy from them.

If you won’t reply to my comments, you won’t reply to post-sales emails if I need help.

I’ll probably still read though, because you can’t judge the sum total of a person on their flaws.

If the person doesn’t comment at all, either because they have a high traffic site which always produces 25 or more comments per post, I will cut them a little slack.

But I’ll probably read less often, and stop bothering myself to comment, unless I observe interaction between commenters.

Step Four – Yes, I’m asking you out on a date.

I comment three times.

With this third comment, if I make it this far at that site, and they respond or their community responds, I’m moving them up to my priority list to read, link to, write about and reference.

Step Five – I Talk About You All the Time

I share my favorite reads. I may share their posts on del.icio.us, Digg, Sphinn, PlugIM, BUMPzee, StirredUp, Stumble Upon, Facebook, anywhere I’ll see them more often.

Step Six – We Fall In Like

I bond with my new friend. We might poke each other on Facebook or email each other. (Rare for me because I Loathe email.) We may have our own inside jokes on each other’s blogs.

My motives are simple – make a new friend.

If anything else comes out of it, that’s great. If there is something I can do for them, even better. If one day, they do something for me too, that’s awesome. It doesn’t always happen that way, and that’s okay with me.

If it doesn’t, I still get credit when I comment, which I’ll do in bursts of frequency, and at the minimum, traffic and/or links will come from it, and the community that posts there often may post over here, and if they do, I’ll mention them from time to time on my blog and add them to my links.

Who knows, that friend might lead me to another friend who wants the same serious business relationship I’m looking for.

If it does work out, it’s magic.

They’ll write about me, they’ll link to me, they’ll reference my posts, they’ll add me to their Blogroll, they’ll thank me in public, they’ll write me privately to set up partnerships, and I reciprocate or initiate the same with them.

Which results in much more traffic, much better links, an increase in both our audiences and in sales, as well as, a new friendship.

Step Seven – The Mutual Appreciation Party Begins

I Repeat steps Five and Six as much as time allows.

Again, thinking about this logically, what would you be willing to do for a person who was doing that for you? I’ve had people do those things for me, and I’d bend over backwards for them anytime, even if they only got to step five.

Successful businesses are built on good relationships. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone – in fact, I’m really big on not working with people who expect something for nothing, abuse my time, or think that because I’m well-known in an area they want to be popular in, that I somehow owe them something.

However, every good blog traffic method is built on being a good neighbor in the blogosphere. No blog is an island.

Thanks to Isotropic.org for letting me know how many days are left until the end of the year.