Try Hearing the Conversation With The Phone Up Your Butt : The Marketing Tweetroversies Part 1*

Before I get into the discussion of the actual Twitter controversies that happened recently, and answer all the questions about my opinion of something I have nothing to do with, I wanted you to know my stance on Twitter.

As far as I’m concerned, here’s the only rule of Twitter.

Don’t tell me how to Tweet. You can tell me what’s best, or what your experience has been, but there isn’t just one way to use it. So. Shut up.

kthxbaikittens.

In other, less LOLcat words:

If you’re not a part of that group, don’t dictate to those groups that they should Twitter your way.

Tell how YOU want to be Twittered to, and how you Tweet? Yes.

Inform? Yes.

But last I checked, you’re not the God of Twitter.

So don’t dictate to people (outside of your group) what will mean success or failure on Twitter. Just let me know what worked for you, or what you observed, and what your results were. That’s plenty to convince me.

Yes, that includes spammers.

Much as it pains me to say.

I don’t like them. So I don’t follow them. I block them. It’s so easy.

I hate them but I’ll defend their right to exist. Here’s my logic.

Even though I believe, wholeheartedly, that spammers are scum, so far, it’s not ILLEGAL or against the TOS *cough*should be*cough* for them to use Twitter in a way that I think sucks.

Until it is, I find it more efficient to focus on what I want to accomplish rather than on things I can’t control. In this case that means I use Twitter to attract people like me to me, to befriend people who are like me, or who have said they want to connect to me.

Some of those people happen to be customers, clients or potential clients/customers. Not all of them, or even most of them, have to be for Twitter to be an efficient use of my time.

Oh well. If that makes me a marketer in your mind, slap on your label. I care not. And the only way it gets me to care? Is if you put money in my pocket.

Sidebar: Notice I didn’t say if you’re withholding money from me, solely because you think I’m a marketer. That attitude that is exactly why I don’t want you as a customer, client, prospect, dare I say, friend. I want people around me who want my help, share my interests, who I admire, or who admire me.

Because, at the end of the day, Twitter is a communications device/service/thingee.

That’s all it is.

Like a phone.

Are there some ways to to use the phone that are MUCH more effective than others? Hell yes.

If you don’t believe me, try to talk into the wall the cord comes out of next time you get a landline call. Or see if you can hear the conversation by putting the receiver up your butt.

Vividly unnecessary, I know. But I bet you got my point. ;-D

Most of us hate telemarketers, but some people make good money being or hiring telemarketers.

I think for my type of marketing it’s ineffectual, so I wouldn’t use them for my business. I’m not the New York Times or the Washington Post, though.

But when I was broke and couldn’t afford rent, before this business?

The telephone survey company that hired me on the spot kept me indoors for a month until I could get a real job. Not quite telemarketing, but people will slam the phone down in your ear just the same. Or call you names. Or scream into the phone.

Or find really creative ways to try and make you deaf.

My point is that just because I don’t agree with HOW they use the phone doesn’t mean I feel people who don’t agree with me should be attacked for it.

They aren’t doing anything illegal. Telemarketing isn’t even immoral. It’s often smarmy, used-car-salesman-y, yeah, but flat-out wrong?

In and of itself, no. Some people will even talk to telemarketers and try to keep them on the line all day. And they’ll buy something.

I know because I did in-bound telemarketing for a few weeks too. Which leads me to the difference…

The problem with in-bound telemarketing is the same problem with traditional marketing in social media.

Traditionally people have learned that the majority of companies who use telemarketing are scams. That unfortunate fact taints all telemarketers. People realize the best way to protect themselves is to decline them all.

So if you’re using social media to market to people who can tell you’re marketing to them – ow. Social media marketing to marketers? If you both like to smell each others farts, have at it.

Otherwise? Big mistake.

Should you tweet your links? Yeah, sure. But to paraphrase Perry in that video, social media is a big party. And if you’re running around the party only talking about what you do, you’re a huge dick and only a few random bottom feeders are going to pay any attention anyway.

Take a look at Mark Joyner‘s Twitter account. He’s arguably the Father of internet marketing (at least it’s between him, the late Cory Rudl and maybe one other guy.)

And yet, you don’t see Mr. Joyner using every other tweet to link to his blog or to Simpleology or Integrated Marketing, or any other active project.

Ain’t. Happening.

He’s got hundreds of thousands of subscribers and site members.

(Don’t ask me how, but let’s just say, I know this for sure. Quick example, look at the top of Simpleology.com – those are just the stats for THAT site). He could send a blast to his list and have 50k followers overnight, I bet.

I mean that literally.

But does he? No. Why not? Think about it.

Then ask him. He tweets back if you try and have a real conversation with him.

( Just remember that he’s in New Zealand. Tell him it’s my fault you’re bugging him if it makes you feel better. )

Am I saying he doesn’t use Twitter to market? Not at all.

In a Really subtle way he does. But I’ve never seen him promote his actual twitter link.

And yes, he tweets the occasional link, though usually not to his own sites. Who knows how well that works for him as far as whether he pushes more product just by being there. I just know how I feel about him having an account, and talking to me.

I know I’ve been way more into his products since he’s been on Twitter and Facebook than when he wasn’t. I know it’s through social media that I first made a direct connection to him.

I know I get a thrill out of being able to reach out to him, and him answering. In public! People know I know him and that he knows me. Makes me feel special.

I know I bought a product of his as a direct result of a conversation we had on Twitter.

Which one of your customers wants that relationship with you? You are somebody’s Mark Joyner.

What is it really costing you to connect to people, and care about people beyond how much money they can make for you?

Compare half an hour a day of Twittering while you’re doing other things, to 30 minutes of all the other non-work you’re doing, and you’ll see it’s worth it.

As long as you don’t have the phone up your butt during the conversation.

*Editing to say this: @ScottAllen correctly pointed out that Mark has been talking about a new thing he’s doing. That’s what I was talking about when I said he was being “subtle”. I neglected to add that I meant that comparatively.

Compared to people who feel the need to make one out of seven tweets a link, I feel like he’s being under-stated, by being conversational with his marketing, with teases and the occasional link, rather than bashing me in the head every time I pull up his page.